Sorting Through Grief

After my mom passed away, I remember standing in her home, surrounded by everything she had touched, chosen, and lived with. The thought of going through her things felt impossible. I didn’t want to start. Part of me felt like sorting through her belongings would mean accepting that she was really gone—and I just wasn’t ready for that.

Over time, I’ve learned that this is one of the most common things people face after losing someone they love. I’ve helped many clients work through the same process. They’ll often say things like, “I know I need to do this, but I can’t bring myself to start.” Or they’ll feel guilty—“Who am I to decide what stays and what goes?” Others feel the urge to keep everything, as if letting go of an item means letting go of the person.

If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone.

Decluttering after loss isn’t just about organizing someone’s things. It’s about closing a chapter in a way that honors your loved one and supports your own healing. It’s emotional. It’s hard. And it’s deeply personal.

But here’s something I often tell my clients—and that I had to remind myself: you don’t have to keep everything. What matters most are the things that hold meaning for you. A shirt that reminds you of your dad’s laugh, a handwritten note from your grandmother, a trinket from a trip you took together—these are the pieces that carry the memories, the joy, the connection.

Keeping a few special items doesn’t diminish the love you had. In fact, it makes space for those memories to stand out, to be celebrated, instead of being buried in a closet full of boxes you’re afraid to open.

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and there’s no one right way to go through this. If you’re in the middle of it now, be gentle with yourself. Start small. Ask for help if you need it. And know that it’s okay to cry, to laugh, to feel unsure. That’s all part of the process.

Decluttering after loss isn’t just about letting go—it’s about choosing what you carry forward.